Monday, August 29, 2011

When Parents Age

Caring for Mom and Dad can be as hard on you as it is on them.

Aging with Two or More Languages
The impact of bilingualism on the elderly

Relationships Can Heal...But Can They Also Make You Sick?
Are your friends and family hurting your health?

Who Is Your Family If You Are Single with No Kids? Part 2.
Preview the conclusions of my chapter on singles with no kids

Happy couples fight in different ways: Even about retirement
Big decisions bring out different styles of marital conflict

Parents Ailing? Keep Your Own Marriage Solid
A strong relationship helps you weather almost any crisis.

Becoming an Orphan
A personal story of a loss of both parents

Planning for Your Parents’ (or your) Old Age
Who will care for your parents? For you?

Feeling the Squeeze of Caring for Two Generations
Tips for Coping with Caring for Aging Parents and Your Own Family

The Evening of Life: A Question for Adult Children of Aging Parents
Older age and the quantity versus quality question.

The Animal Urge to Leave a Legacy
Planting seeds stimulates your happy chemicals

Life's Long, Lovely Afternoon: The Psychology of Middle Age
Growing strong in middle age.

Single with Ailing Parents: Who Cares?
Full-time job and full-time care?

To Mom and Dad, With Love
Helping parents plan for their golden years—even when they just want to stay put.

Seniors: A Danger on the Road
Older drivers may not realize they are a danger on the road.

Seniors Who Reunite With Old Flames
Love is not just for young people

Does Sleep Apnea Cause Dementia?
Does lack of rest fundamentally damage the brain?

Sunday, August 28, 2011

The Women Who Lead

Why Women Make Better Leaders


Mad Woman or Cool Under Pressure?


Anti-Feminism: Not Sexy


Is Hillary Clinton Pathologically Ambitious?


Leaders: Born or Made?


The Invisible Barrier


The Slippery Slope of Anti-Aging Trends
Anti-Aging: When the Tipping Point Becomes the Slipping Point

Do Men and Women Lead Differently? Who's Better?
Are men better leaders, or do we just think so?

High Octane Leaders: How Women Are Blazing New Paths to Leadership
Six Common Threads Among Successful Female Leaders

The End of the Glass Ceiling: We Need a New Metaphor
No glass ceiling, but a labyrinth with twists and turns

The End of Religion? Been to America Lately?
Religion may be out, but America is being led around by Christians.

Hostage Negotiation With Guilt
Get out of jail free.

Success beyond success: time to re-define IQ?
Are there any serious alternatives to IQ?

Shriver Report Serves Up Compulsory Marriage and Mothering
A high-profile report on women in America marginalizes 47 million of us
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/bachmann-women-and-leadership/shriver-report-serves-compulsory-marriage-and-mothe

Did Second-Wave Feminism Neglect the Single Woman?
Where was the vision for a fulfilling life outside of marriage and motherhood?
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/bachmann-women-and-leadership/did-second-wave-feminism-neglect-the-single-woman

Risky business? Why women earn less than men
What keeps women from getting what they want in the workplace
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/bachmann-women-and-leadership/risky-business-why-women-earn-less-men

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Why Risk Spells Romance

Rejection's no fun. But neither is just wondering whether you might've been great together.

What do you do with gifts from a broken romance?
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/why-risk-spells-romance/the-museum-broken-relationships

On man-eating females
Love and suicide among the Australian arachnids
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/risk-and-relationships-1/man-eating-females

The Sweet Smell of Failure
Getting what you want may not get you what you need.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/why-risk-spells-romance/the-sweet-smell-failure

Lowering the odds of divorce: Ways to boost your marital longevity
How to beat the odds of divorce
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/why-risk-spells-romance/lowering-the-odds-divorce-ways-boost-your-marital-longevi

Risk Taking and Male Attraction to Females
You're pretty, let's skydive after I beat this chump up.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/why-risk-spells-romance/risk-taking-and-male-attraction-females

Charlie and the Psychic Time Bomb Part II:
What Charlie Sheen can teach us about Love
Why learning from previous relationships is crucial
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/why-risk-spells-romance/charlie-and-the-psychic-time-bomb-part-ii-what-charlie-sh

Charlie and the Psychic Time Bomb
Did divorce push Sheen over the edge?
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/why-risk-spells-romance/charlie-and-the-psychic-time-bomb

Are Men and Women Afraid to Date?
Does fear prevent dating behavior?
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/why-risk-spells-romance/are-men-and-women-afraid-date

The Top Three Valentine's Day Pitfalls
How to withstand all the pressure and hype.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/why-risk-spells-romance/the-top-three-valentines-day-pitfalls

Can Romance Increase Depression?
For adolescents, relationships may create a health risk.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/risk-and-relationships-1/can-romance-increase-depression

How to Stop Love From Making You Act Like A Fool
You can control those unattractive impulses with a simple strategy.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/risk-and-relationships-1/how-stop-love-making-you-act-fool

Do People with ADHD Cheat More?
Could a gene variation influence infidelity?
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/risk-and-relationships-1/do-people-adhd-cheat-more

Another Way to Make Love
Elude the Coolidge Effect with a forgotten approach to sex.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/risk-and-relationships-1/another-way-make-love

Breaking Free from Your Comfort Zone
and embrace the pathway to change
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/risk-and-relationships-1/breaking-free-your-comfort-zone

6 Clues to Your Partner's Future Infidelity
His shirt needn't smell of perfume for you to guess.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/risk-and-relationships-1/6-clues-your-partners-future-infidelity

The Adultery Poem
So you're guilty all the time, so what? Guilt doesn't stop you.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/risk-and-relationships-1/the-adultery-poem

Novelist Mona Simpson: Modern Love
My Hollywood asks, "Can love be bought and sold?"
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/risk-and-relationships-1/novelist-mona-simpson-modern-love

The Sum Of My Parts - A Memoir
I never knew what she prayed for but there was so much to ask for
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/risk-and-relationships-1/the-sum-my-parts-memoir

It's Not Easy Being Green
Why romance is hard for asexuals, gays, and lesbians.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/risk-and-relationships-1/its-not-easy-being-green

How Keeping a Zen Mind Can Save a Relationship
Rushing to judgment about others may only hurt yourself.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/risk-and-relationships-1/how-keeping-zen-mind-can-save-relationship

My BFF Can't Stand My Boyfriend!
It's disconcerting when your best friend doesn't see what you see in him~
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/risk-and-relationships-1/my-bff-cant-stand-my-boyfriend

Gender, Power & Infidelity: A Complicated Affair
Research finds that power, not gender, plays a big role in infidelity
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/risk-and-relationships-1/gender-power-infidelity-complicated-affair

The Shock Of Betrayal
Romantic bliss turning to gut-wrenching reality in an instant
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/risk-and-relationships-1/the-shock-betrayal

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Drive: The surprising truth about what motivates us

Ask yourself these two questions, and see motivation and change.

What's my sentence?
Was I better today than yesterday?




Two questions that can change your life
A video excerpt from Daniel Pink's DRIVE: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

Daniel Pink on Drive by andrewkeen

Daniel Pink on Drive from andrewkeen on Vimeo.



"Drive" by Daniel Pink Book Review by Paolo Mello

"Drive" by Daniel Pink Book Review from Paolo Mello on Vimeo.



Change in the workplace: Drive and Rework book reviews by Steve Deiters

Change in the workplace: Drive and Rework book reviews from Steve Deiters on Vimeo.



Two amazing books that I've recently read are Daniel H. Pink's, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us and Rework by Jason Fried and David Hansson.

Gp's Audiobook Review #6 - Drive by Gp De Ciantis

Reviewing Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel H. Pink. Good content, but the production could use some work.

Gp's Audiobook Review #6 - Drive from Gp De Ciantis on Vimeo.





Get further details in Pink's latest book, DRIVE: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us.

This lively RSAnimate, adapted from Dan Pink's talk at the RSA, illustrates the hidden truths behind what really motivates us at home and in the workplace.



Pink's Book (Intrinsic-Extrinsic Motivation) Self Contradictory
Another fatal error of itnrinsic-extrinsic motivation.

Is money the best way to motivate executives? Daniel Pink doesn't think so. Pink cites studies in which offering people reward, money, and bonuses had a paradoxical effect of undermining interest in their work. Although many psychologists believe these studies are flawed, Pink accepts them uncritically. In an effort to avoid extreme suggestions, Pink said he has no objection to paying workers a decent wage, but beyond that he thinks companies should motivate employees by creating interesting jobs. He is opposed to bonuses and monetary incentives.

Pink is badly confused. The social psychological research he cites does not support his advice to business. Actually, social psychology theory flatly contradicts what Pink has to say. He misinterpreted intrinsic-extrinsic motivation.

Daryl Bem's self-perception theory is the basis for predicting paradoxical effects of money. According to Bem, extrinsic incentives undermine intrinsic interest when individuals perceive the incentives as controlling their behavior. Since the necessity of earning a living wage is controlling, Bem's theory predicts that paying workers a decent wage undermines their intrinsic interest. Further compensation should have less consequence because the workers already have lost their intrinsic interest.



Previous Post:
Why Extrinsic Motivation Doesn't Exist
Instrumental behaviors are always motivated by intrinsic needs.




Intrinsic motivation refers to motivation that is driven by an interest or enjoyment in the task itself, and exists within the individual rather than relying on any external pressure. Intrinsic motivation has been studied by social and educational psychologists since the early 1970s. Research has found that it is usually associated with high educational achievement and enjoyment by students evaluation theory.[clarification needed] Students are likely to be intrinsically motivated if they:

> attribute their educational results to factors under their own control (e.g., the effort expended),

> believe they can be effective agents in reaching desired goals (i.e. the results are not determined by luck),

> are interested in mastering a topic, rather than just rote-learning to achieve good grades.



Do these children deserve a good education?

Friday, August 19, 2011

Does Reality TV Make Us Stupid?

Are the Kardashians Keeping Up Appearances?


Faux-Lebrity


The Casey Anthony Circus


Our Gruesome Curiosity


Seeing by Starlight: Celebrity Obsession


Too Rich and Too Thin?




Reality TV in the Spotlight
What is the real human cost of this entertainment genre?

Happiness and the Real Housewives of Bravo
What part of happiness do the Real Housewives of Bravo lack?

What's Your Favorite Reality TV Show?
Let's talk about Reality TV. Are there any good shows? Yes!

Top 3 reasons to shift the suicide focus on "Housewives"
Why should Real Housewives not focus on Russell Armstrong's suicide?

Can reality T.V. be dangerous?
Prime-time tabloids and consequences
Is reality T.V. a killer?

America's Got Talent
Who is America's greatest idol? Hint: It's not Bill Gates.

Does Matrimania Really Matter?
The Case of Women and Their Disinterest in Science
Still another dark side of romance

The lure of celebrity endorsements
Your brain's response to celebrity marketing

The most hated person in America?
The national obsession with Casey Anthony's case

Jobless But Not Hopeless

Jobs Are Up, But What Kinds of Jobs?

Jobless statistics obscure some difficult realities
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/joblessness/jobs-are-what-kinds-jobs

TOP TIPS FOR JOB HUNTERS:

How to Find the Right Job for You

Find your career direction and find a great job.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/coping-joblessness/top-tips-job-hunters

Why We Work

Finding meaning in a job can be surprisingly easy.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/coping-joblessness/why-we-work

How to treat your jobless friend

Employ these techniques to help the unemployed
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201108/coping-joblessness/how-help-your-jobless-friend

Unemployment the American Way


The Myths of Unemployment


You Only Need One Job


Job Hunting With Confidence



CONVERT STRESS INTO SELF-POWER
Regain your Self-Power

Out of Work . . . Seeking a Job?
Six tips to stay hopeful while out of work.

TOP TIPS FOR JOB-HUNTERS: Pressure Proof Yourself against Job-Search Stress
Push the stop button on job-search stress.

Using Effective Nonverbal Communication in Job Interviews
Using subtle body language to give you an interviewing edge.

Going on a Job Interview? Avoid These Common Mistakes
Learn how to interview and get the job.

How to Fight Mental Illness Stigma
Different categories means different approaches.

How to Deal with the Stress of Tough Economic Times
Taking a new look at your life can build resilience

Keeping Our Kids From Being Downgraded
How the economic crisis psychologically affects our children

Surviving in Economically Troubled Times
You cannot fix the economic crisis but you can survive.

What to Do When Your Employer Cuts You from the Team
5 Surefire Plays That Will Get You Back in the Game and Better Than Before

Rising from the Ashes
I didn’t fail -- I just discovered 10,000 ways that didn’t work

What's Your Type?
Enlivening a dead-end job may be a matter of tinkering not reinventing yourself.

Best Face Forward
Using psychology to ace the interview

Alex Steffen: The shareable future of cities

How can cities help save the future? Alex Steffen shows some cool neighborhood-based green projects that expand our access to things we want and need -- while reducing the time we spend in cars.

Alex Steffen explores our planet's future, telling powerful, inspiring stories about the hard choices facing humanity ... and our opportunity to create a much better tomorrow.
Full bio and more links











Transcript:
Climate change is already a heavy topic, and it's getting heavier, because we're understanding that we need to do more than we are. We're understanding, in fact, that those of us who live in the developed world need to be really pushing towards eliminating our emissions. That's, to put it mildly, not what's on the table now. And it tends to feel a little overwhelming when we look at what is there in reality today and the magnitude of the problem that we face. And when we have overwhelming problems in front of us, we tend to seek simple answers. And I think this is what we've done with climate change. We look at where the emissions are coming from -- they're coming out of our tailpipes and smokestacks and so forth, and we say, okay, well the problem is that they're coming out of fossil fuels that we're burning, so therefore, the answer must be to replace those fossil fuels with clean sources of energy. And while, of course, we do need clean energy, I would put to you that it's possible that by looking at climate change as a clean energy generation problem, we're in fact setting ourselves up not to solve it.

And the reason why is that we live on a planet that is rapidly urbanizing. That shouldn't be news to any of us. However, it's hard sometimes to remember the extent of that urbanization. By mid-century, we're going to have about eight billion -- perhaps more -- people living in cities or within a day's travel of one. We will be an overwhelmingly urban species. In order to provide the kind of energy that it would take for eight billion people living in cities that are even somewhat like the cities that those of us in the global North live in today, we would have to generate an absolutely astonishing amount of energy. It may be possible that we are not even able to build that much clean energy. So if we're seriously talking about tackling climate change on an urbanizing planet, we need to look somewhere else for the solution.

The solution, in fact, may be closer to hand than we think. Because all of those cities we're building are opportunities. Every city determines to a very large extent the amount of energy used by its inhabitants. We tend to think of energy use as a behavioral thing -- I choose to turn this light switch on -- but really, enormous amounts of our energy use are predestined by the kinds of communities and cities that we live in. I won't show you very many graphs today, but if I can just focus on this one for a moment, it really tells us a lot of what we need to know -- which is, quite simply, that if you look, for example, at transportation, a major category of climate emissions, there is a direct relationship between how dense a city is and the amount of climate emissions that its residents spew out into the air. And the correlation, of course, is that denser places tend to have lower emissions -- which really isn't all that difficult to figure out, if you think about it.

Basically, we substitute in our lives access to the things we want. We go out there and we hop in our cars and we drive from place to place. And we're basically using mobility to get the access we need. But when we live in a denser community, suddenly what we find, of course, is that the things we need are close by. And since the most sustainable trip is the one that you never had to make in the first place, suddenly our lives become instantly more sustainable. And it is possible, of course, to increase the density of the communities around us.

Some places are doing this with new eco districts, developing whole new sustainable neighborhoods, which is nice work if you can get it. But most of the time, what we're talking about is, in fact, reweaving the urban fabric that we already have. So we're talking about things like infill development: really sharp little changes to where we have buildings, where we're developing. Urban retrofitting: creating different sorts of spaces and uses out of places that are already there. Increasingly, we're realizing that we don't even need to densify and entire city. What we need instead is an average density that rises to a level where we don't drive as much and so on. And that can be done by raising the density in very specific spots a whole lot. So you can think of it as tent poles that actually raise the density of the entire city.

And we find that when we do that, we can, in fact, have a few places that are really hyper-dense within a wider fabric of places that are perhaps a little more comfortable and achieve the same results. Now we may find that there are places that are really, really dense and still hold onto their cars, but the reality is that, by and large, what we see when we get a lot of people together with the right conditions is a threshold effect, where people simply stop driving as much, and increasingly, more and more people, if they're surrounded by places that make them feel at home, give up their cars altogether. And this is a huge, huge energy savings. Because what comes out of our tailpipe is really just the beginning of the story with climate emissions from cars. We have the manufacture of the car, the disposal of the car, all of the parking and freeways and so on. When you can get rid of all of those because somebody doesn't use any of them really, you find that you can actually cut transportation emissions as much as 90 percent.

And people are embracing this. All around the world, we're seeing more and more people embrace this walkshed life. People are saying that it's moving from the idea of the dream home to the dream neighborhood. And when you layer that over with the kind of ubiquitous communications that we're starting to see, what you find is, in fact, even more access suffused into spaces. Some of it's transportation access. This is a Mapnificent map that show me, in this case, how far I can get from my home in 30 minutes using public transportation. Some of it is about walking. It's not all perfect yet. This is Google Walking Maps. I asked how to do the greater Ridgeway, and it told me to go via Guernsey. It did tell me that this route maybe missing sidewalks or pedestrian paths though. (Laughter) But the technologies are getting better, and we're starting to really kind of crowd source this navigation. And as we just heard earlier, of course, we're also learning how to put information on dumb objects. Things that don't have any wiring in them at all, we're learning how to include in these systems of notation and navigation.

Part of what we're finding with this is that what we thought was the major point of manufacturing and consumption, which is to get a bunch of stuff, is not, in fact, how we live best in dense environments. What we're finding is that what we want is access to the capacities of things. My favorite example is a drill. Who here owns a drill, a home power drill? Okay. I do too. The average home power drill is used somewhere between six and 20 minutes in its entire lifetime depending on who you ask. And so what we do is we buy these drills that have a potential capacity of thousands of hours of drill time, use them once or twice to put a hole in the wall and let them sit. Our cities, I would put to you, are stockpiles of these surplus capacities. And while we could try and figure out new ways to use those capacities -- such as cooking or making ice sculptures or even a mafia hit -- what we probably will find is that, in fact, turning those products into services that we have access to when we want them, is a far smarter way to go.

And in fact, even space itself is turning into a service. We're finding that people can share the same spaces, do stuff with vacant space. Buildings are becoming bundles of services. So we have new designs that are helping us take mechanical things that we used to spend energy on -- like heating, cooling etc. -- and turn them into things that we avoid spending energy on. So we light our buildings with daylight. We cool them with breezes. We heat them with sunshine. In fact, when we use all these things, what we've found is that, in some cases, energy use in a building can drop as much as 90 percent. Which brings on another threshold effect I call furnace dumping. Which is, quite simply, if you have a building that doesn't need to be heated with a furnace, you save a whole bunch of money up front. These things actually become cheaper to build than the alternatives.

Now when we look at being able to slash our product use, slash our transportation use, slash our building energy use, all of that is great, but it still leaves something behind. And if we're going to really, truly become sustainable cities, we need to think a little differently. This is one way to do it. This is Vancouver's propaganda about how green a city they are. And certainly lots of people have taken to heart this idea that a sustainable city is covered in greenery. So we have visions like this. We have visions like this. We have visions like this.

Now I'll all of these are fine projects, but they really have missed an essential point, which is it's not about the leaves above, it's about the systems below. Do they, for instance, capture rainwater so that we can reduce water use? Water is energy intensive. Do they perhaps include green infrastructure, so that we can take runoff and water that's going out of our houses and clean it and filter it and grow urban street trees? Do they connect us back to the ecosystems around us by, for example, connecting us to rivers and allow for restoration? Do they allow for pollination, pollinator pathways that bees and butterflies and such can come back into our cities? Do they even take the very waste matter that we have from food and fiber and so forth, and turn it back into soil and sequester carbon -- take carbon out of the air in the process of using our cities?

I would submit to you that all of these things are not only possible, they're being done right now, and that it's a darn good thing. Because right now, our economy by and large operates as Paul Hawken said, "by stealing the future, selling it in the present and call it GDP." And if we have another eight billion or seven billion, or six billion, even, people, living on a planet where their cities also steal the future, we're going to run out of future really fast. But if we think differently, I think that, in fact, we can have cities that are not only zero emissions, but have unlimited possibilities as well.

Thank you very much.

(Applause)

Philip Zimbardo: The demise of guys?

Psychologist Philip Zimbardo asks, "Why are boys struggling?" He shares some stats (lower graduation rates, greater worries about intimacy and relationships) and suggests a few reasons -- and he asks for your help! Watch his talk, then take his short 10-question survey:

Philip Zimbardo was the leader of the notorious 1971 Stanford Prison Experiment -- and an expert witness at Abu Ghraib. His book The Lucifer Effect explores the nature of evil; now, in his new work,… Full bio and more links












Transcript:
So today, I want us to reflect on the demise of guys. Guys are flaming out academically; they're wiping out socially with girls and sexually with women. Other than that, there's not much of a problem. So what's the data? So the data on dropping out is amazing. Boys are 30 percent more likely than girls to drop out of school. In Canada, five boys drop out for every three girls. Girls outperform boys now at every level, from elementary school to graduate school. There's a 10 percent differential between getting BA's and all graduate programs, with guys falling behind girls. Two-thirds of students in special ed remedial programs are guys. And as you all know, boys are five times more likely than girls to be labeled as having attention deficit disorder -- and therefore we drug them with Ritalin.

What's the evidence of wiping out? First, it's a new fear of intimacy. Intimacy means physical, emotional connection with somebody else -- and especially with somebody of the opposite sex who gives off ambiguous, contradictory, phosphorescent signals. (Laughter) And every year there's research done on self-reported shyness among college students. And we're seeing a steady increase among males. And this is two kinds. It's a social awkwardness. The old shyness was a fear of rejection. It's a social awkwardness like you're a stranger in a foreign land. They don't know what to say, they don't know what to do, especially one-on-one opposite sex. They don't know the language of face contact, the non-verbal and verbal set of rules that enable you to comfortably talk to somebody else, listen to somebody else.

There's something I'm developing here called social intensity syndrome, which tries to account for why guys really prefer male bonding over female mating. It turns out, from earliest childhood, boys, and then men, prefer the company of guys -- physical company. And there's actually a cortical arousal we're looking at, because guys have been with guys in teams, in clubs, in gangs, in fraternities, especially in the military, and then in pubs. And this peaks at Super Bowl Sunday when guys would rather be in a bar with strangers, watching a totally overdressed Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers, rather than Jennifer Lopez totally naked in the bedroom. The problem is they now prefer asynchronistic Internet world to the spontaneous interaction in social relationships.

What are the causes? Well, it's an unintended consequence. I think it's excessive Internet use in general, excessive video gaming, excessive new access to pornography. The problem is these are arousal addictions. Drug addiction, you simply want more. Arousal addiction, you want different. Drugs, you want more of the same -- different. So you need the novelty in order for the arousal to be sustained.

And the problem is the industry is supplying it. Jane McGonigal told us last year that by the time a boy is 21, he's played 10,000 hours of video games, most of that in isolation. As you remember, Cindy Gallop said men don't know the difference between making love and doing porn. The average boy now watches 50 porn video clips a week. And there's some guy watching a hundred, obviously. (Laughter) And the porn industry is the fastest growing industry in America -- 15 billion annually. For every 400 movies made in Hollywood, there are 11,000 now made porn videos.

So the effect, very quickly, is it's a new kind of arousal. Boys' brains are being digitally rewired in a totally new way for change, novelty, excitement and constant arousal. That means they're totally out of sync in traditional classes, which are analog, static, interactively passive. They're also totally out of sync in romantic relationships, which build gradually and subtly.

So what's the solution? It's not my job. I'm here to alarm. It's your job to solve.

(Laughter)

(Applause)

But who should care? The only people who should care about this is parents of boys and girls, educators, gamers, filmmakers and women who would like a real man who they can talk to, who can dance, who can make love slowly and contribute to the evolutionary pressures to keep our species above banana slugs. No offense to banana slug owners. Thank you.

(Applause)


Related Topic:

Hanna Rosin: New data on the rise of women
Hanna Rosin reviews startling new data that shows women actually surpassing men in several important measures, such as college graduation rates. Do these trends, both US-centric and global, signal the "end of men"? Probably not -- but they point toward an important societal shift worth deep discussion.











Jane McGonigal: Gaming can make a better world
Games like World of Warcraft give players the means to save worlds, and incentive to learn the habits of heroes. What if we could harness this gamer power to solve real-world problems? Jane McGonigal says we can, and explains how.












Ali Carr-Chellman: Gaming to re-engage boys in learning
At TEDxPSU, Ali Carr-Chellman pinpoints three reasons boys are tuning out of school in droves, and lays out her bold plan to re-engage them: bringing their culture into the classroom, with new rules that let boys be boys, and video games that teach as well as entertain.











Jeremy Gilley: One day of peace

Here's a crazy idea: Persuade the world to try living in peace for just one day, every September 21. In this energetic, honest talk, Jeremy Gilley tells the story of how this crazy idea became real -- real enough to help millions of kids in war-torn regions.

Filmmaker Jeremy Gilley founded Peace One Day to create an annual day without conflict. And ... it's happening. What will you do to make peace on September 21?
Full bio and more links












Transcript:
I was basically concerned about what was going on in the world. I couldn't understand the starvation, the destruction, the killing of innocent people. Making sense of those things is a very difficult thing to do. And when I was 12, I became an actor. I was bottom of the class. I haven't got any qualifications. I was told I was dyslexic. In fact, I have got qualifications. I got a D in pottery, which was the one thing that I did get -- which was useful, obviously. And so concern is where all this comes from. And then, being an actor, I was doing these different kinds of things. And I felt the content of the work that I was involved in really wasn't cutting it, that there surely had to be more.

And at that point, I read a book by Frank Barnaby, this wonderful nuclear physicist, and he said that media had a responsibility, that all sectors of society had a responsibility to try and progress things and move things forward. And that fascinated me, because I'd been messing around with a camera most of my life. And then I thought, well maybe I could do something. Maybe I could become a filmmaker. Maybe I can use the form of film constructively to in some way make a difference. Maybe there's a little change I can get involved in. So I started thinking about peace, and I was obviously, as I said to you, very much moved by these images, trying to make sense of that. Could I go and speak to older and wiser people who would tell me how they made sense of the things that are going on? Because it's obviously incredibly frightening.

But I realized that, having been messing around with structure as an actor, that a series of soundbites in itself wasn't enough, that there needed to be a mountain to climb, there needed to be a journey that I had to take. And if I took that journey, no matter whether it failed or succeeded, it would be completely irrelevant. The point was that I would have something to hook the questions of -- is humankind fundamentally evil? Is the destruction of the world inevitable? Should I have children? Is that a responsible thing to do? Etc., etc.

So I was thinking about peace, and then I was thinking, well where's the starting point for peace? And that was when I had the idea. There was no starting point for peace. There was no day of global unity. There was no day of intercultural cooperation. There was no day when humanity came together, separate in all of those things and just shared it together -- that we're in this together, and that if we united and we interculturally cooperated, then that might be the key to humanity's survival. That might shift the level of consciousness around the fundamental issues that humanity faces -- if we did it just for a day.

So obviously we didn't have any money. I was living at my mom's place. And we started writing letters to everybody. You very quickly work out what is it you've got to do to fathom that out. How do you create a day voted by every single head of state in the world to create the first ever Ceasefire Nonviolence Day, the 21st of September? And I wanted it to be the 21st of September because it was my granddad's favorite number. He was a prisoner of war. He saw the bomb go off at Nagasaki. It poisoned his blood. He died when I was 11. So he was like my hero. And the reason why 21 was the number: 700 men left, 23 came back, two died on the boat and 21 hit the ground. And that's why we wanted it to be the 21st of September as the date.

So we began this journey, and we launched it in 1999. And we wrote to heads of state, their ambassadors, Nobel peace laureates, NGOs, faiths, various organizations -- literally wrote to everybody. And very quickly, some letters started coming back. And we started to build this case. And I remember the first letter. One of the first letters was from the Dalai Lama. And of course we didn't have the money; we were playing guitars and getting the money for the stamps that we were sending out all of [this mail]. A letter came through from the Dalai Lama saying, "This is an amazing thing. Come and see me. I'd like to talk to you about the first ever day of peace." And we didn't have money for the flight. And I rang Sir Bob Ayling, who was CEO of BA at the time, and said, "Mate, we've got this invitation. Could you give me a flight? Because we're going to go see him." And of course, we went and saw him and it was amazing. And then Dr. Oscar Arias came forward.

And actually, let me go back to that slide, because when we launched it in 1999 -- this idea to create the first ever day of ceasefire and non-violence -- we invited thousands of people. Well not thousands -- hundreds of people, lots of people -- all the press, because we were going to try to create the first ever World Peace Day, a peace day. And we invited everybody, and no press showed up. There were 114 people there -- they were mostly my friends and family. And that was kind of like the launch of this thing. But it didn't matter because we were documenting, and that was the thing. For me, it was really about the process. It wasn't about the end result. And that's the beautiful thing about the camera. They used to say the pen is mightier than the sword. I think the camera is. And just staying in the moment where it was a beautiful thing and really empowering actually.

So anyway, we began the journey. And here you see people like Mary Robinson, I went to see in Geneva. I'm cutting my hair, it's getting short and long, because every time I saw Kofi Annan, I was so worried that he thought I was a hippie that I cut it. And that was what was going on. (Laughter) Yeah, I'm not worried about it now. So Mary Robinson, she said to me, "This is an idea whose time has come. This must be created." Kofi Annan said, "This will be beneficial to my troops on the ground." The OAU at the time, led by Salim Ahmed Salim, said, "I must get the African countries involved." Dr. Oscar Arias, Nobel peace laureate, president now of Costa Rica, said, "I'll do everything that I can." So I went and saw Amr Moussa at the League of Arab States. I met Mandela at the Arusha peace talks. And so on and so on and so on -- while I was building the case to prove whether this idea would make sense.

And then we were listening to the people. We were documenting everywhere. 76 countries in the last 12 years, I've visited. And I've always spoken to women and children wherever I've gone. I've recorded 44,000 young people. I've recorded about 900 hours of their thoughts. I'm really clear about how young people feel when you talk to them about this idea of having a starting point for their actions for a more peaceful world through their poetry, their art, their literature, their music, their sport, whatever it might be. And we were listening to everybody.

And it was an incredibly thing, working with the U.N. and working with NGOs and building this case. I felt that I was presenting a case on behalf of the global community to try and create this day. And the stronger the case and the more detailed it was, the better chance we had of creating this day. And it was this stuff, this, where I actually was in the beginning kind of thinking no matter what happened, it didn't actually matter. It didn't matter if it didn't create a day of peace. The fact is that, if I tried and it didn't work, then I could make a statement about how unwilling the global community is to unite -- until, it was in Somalia, picking up that young girl. And this young child who'd taken about an inch and a half out of her leg with no antiseptic, and that young boy who was a child soldier, who told me he'd killed people -- he was about 12 -- these things made me realize that this was not a film that I could just stop. And that actually, at that moment something happened to me, which obviously made me go, "I'm going to document. If this is the only film I ever make, I'm going to document until this becomes a reality." Because we've got to stop, we've got to do something where we unite -- separate from all the politics and religion that, as a young person, is confusing me. I don't know how to get involved in that process.

And then on the seventh of September, I was invited to New York. The Costa Rican government and the British government had put forward to the United Nations general assembly, with 54 co-sponsors, the idea of the first ever Ceasefire Nonviolence Day, as a fixed calendar date, the 21st of September, and it was unanimously adopted by every head of state in the world. (Applause) Yeah, but there were hundreds of individuals obviously who made that a reality. And thank you to all of them. That was an incredible moment. I was at the top of the general assembly just looking down into it and seeing it happen. And as I mentioned, when it started, we were at the Globe, and there was no press. And now I was thinking, "Well, the press it really going to hear this story." And suddenly, we started to institutionalize this day.

Kofi Annan invited me on the morning September the 11th. to do a press conference. And it was 8:00 AM when I stood there. And I was waiting for him to come down, and I new that he was on his way. And obviously he never came down. The statement was never made. The world was never told there was a day of global ceasefire and nonviolence. And it was obviously a tragic moment for the thousands of people who lost their lives, there and then subsequently all over the world. It never happened. And I remember thinking, "This is exactly why actually we have to work even harder. And we have to make this day work. It's been created; nobody knows. But we have to continue this journey, and we have to tell people, and we have to prove it can work."

And I left New York freaked, but actually empowered. And I felt inspired by the possibilities that if it did, then maybe we wouldn't see things like that. I remember putting that film out and going to cynics. I was showing the film, and I remember being in Israel and getting it absolutely slaughtered by some guys having watched the film -- that it's just a day of peace, it doesn't mean anything. It's not going to work; you're not going to stop the fighting in Afghanistan; the Taliban won't listen, etc., etc. It's just symbolism. And that was even worse than actually what had just happened in many ways, because it couldn't not work. I'd spoken in Somalia, Burundi, Gaza, the West Bank, India, Sri Lanka, Congo, wherever it was, and they'd all tell me, "If you can create a window of opportunity, we can move aid, we can vaccinate children. Children can lead their projects. They can unite. They can come together. If people would stop, lives will be saved." That's what I'd heard. And I heard that from the people who really understood what conflict was about.

And so I went back to the United Nations. I decided that I'd continue filming and make another movie. And I went back to the U.N. for another couple of years. We started moving around the corridors of the U.N. system, governments and NGOs, trying desperately to find somebody to come forward and have a go at it, see if we could make it possible. And after lots and lots of meetings obviously, I'm delighted this man, Ahmad Fawzi, one of my heroes and mentors really, he managed to get UNICEF involved. And UNICEF, God bless them, they said, "Okay, we'll have a go." And then UNAMA became involved in Afghanistan. It was historical. Could it work in Afghanistan with UNAMA and WHO and civil society, etc., etc., etc.? And I was getting it all on film and I was recording it, and I was thinking, "This is it. This is the possibility of it maybe working. But even if it doesn't, at least the door is open and there's a chance."

And so I went back to London, and I went and saw this chap, Jude Law. And I saw him because he was an actor, I was an actor. I had a connection to him, because we needed to get to the press, we needed this attraction, we needed the media to be involved. Because if we start pumping it up a bit maybe more people would listen and there'd be more -- when we got into certain areas, maybe there would be more people interested. And maybe we'd be helped financially a little bit more, which had been desperately difficult. I won't go into that. So Jude said, "Okay, I'll do some statements for you."

While I was filming these statements, he said to me, "Where are you going next?" I said, "I'm going to go to Afghanistan." He said, "Really?" And I could sort of see a little look in his eye of interest. So I said to him, "Do you want to come with me? It'd be really interesting if you came. It would help and bring attention. And that attention would help leverage the situation, as well as all of the other sides of it." I think there's a number of pillars to success. One is you've got to have a great idea. The other is you've got to have a constituency, you've got to have finance, and you've got to be able to raise awareness. And actually I could never raise awareness by myself, no matter what I'd achieved. So these guys were absolutely crucial. So he said yes, and we found ourselves in Afghanistan.

It was a really incredible thing that when we landed there, I was talking to various people, and they were saying to me, "You've got to get everybody involved here. You can't just expect it to work. You have to get out and work." And we did, and we traveled around, and we spoke to elders, we spoke to doctors, we spoke to nurses, we held press conferences, we went out with soldiers, we sat down with ISAF, we sat down with NATO, we sat down with the U.K. government. I mean, we basically sat down with everybody -- in and out of schools with ministers of education, holding these press conferences, which of course, now were loaded with press, everybody was there. There was an interest in what was going on. This amazing woman, Fatima Magalani, was absolutely instrumental in what went on as she was the spokesperson for the resistance against the Russians. And her Afghan network was just absolutely everywhere. And she was really crucial in getting the message in.

And then we went home. We'd sort of done it. We had to wait now and see what happened. And I got home, and I remember one of the team bringing in a letter to me from the Taliban. And that letter basically said, "We'll observe this day. We will observe this day. We see it as a window of opportunity. And we will not engage. We're not going to engage." And that meant that humanitarian workers wouldn't be kidnapped or killed. And then suddenly, I obviously knew at this point, there was a chance. And days later, 1.6 million children were vaccinated against polio as a consequence of everybody stopping. (Applause) And like the general assembly, obviously the most wonderful, wonderful moment.

And so then we wrapped the film up and we put it together because we had to go back. We put it into Dari and Pashto. We put it in the local dialects. We went back to Afghanistan, because the next year was coming, and we wanted to support. But more importantly, we wanted to go back, because these people in Afghanistan are the heroes. They were the people who believed in peace and the possibilities of it, etc., etc. -- and they made it real. And we wanted to go back and show them the film and say, "Look, you guys made this possible. And thank you very much." And we gave the film over. Obviously it was shown, and it was amazing.

And then that year, that year, 2008, this ISAF statement from Kabul Afghanistan, September 17th: "General Stanley McChrystal, commander of international security assistance forces in Afghanistan, announced today ISAF will not conduct offensive military operations on the 21st of September." They were saying they would stop. And then there was this other statement that came out from the Deptartment of Security and Safety saying that, in Afghanistan, because of this work, the violence was down by 70 percent. 70 percent reduction in violence on this day at least. And that completely blew my mind almost more than anything.

And I remember being stuck in New York, this time because of the volcano, which was obviously much less harmful. And I was there thinking about what was going on. And I kept thinking about this 70 percent. 70 percent reduction in violence -- in what everyone said was completely impossible and you couldn't do. And that made me think that, if we can get 70 percent in Afghanistan, then surely we can get 70 percent reduction everywhere. We have to go for a global truce. We have to utilize this day of ceasefire and nonviolence and go for a global truce, go for the largest recorded cessation of hostilities, both domestically and internationally, ever recorded.

That's exactly what we must do. And on the 21st of September this year, we're going to launch that campaign at the O2 Arena to go for that process, to try to create the largest recorded cessation of hostilities. And we will utilize all kinds of things -- have a dance and social media and visiting on Facebook and visit the website, sign the petition. And it's in the six official languages of the United Nations. And we'll globally link with government, inter-government, non-government, education, unions, sports. And you can see the education box there. We've got resources at the moment in 174 countries trying to get young people to be the driving force behind the vision of that global truce. And obviously the life-saving is increased, the concepts help.

Linking up with the Olympics -- I went and saw Seb Coe. I said, "London 2012 is about truce. Ultimately, that's what it's about." Why don't we all team up? Why don't we bring truce to life? Why don't you support the process of the largest ever global truce? We'll make a new film about this process. We'll utilize sport and football. On the Day of Peace, there's thousands of football matches all played, from the favelas of Brazil to wherever it might be. So, utilizing all of these ways to inspire individual action. And ultimately, we have to try that. We have to work together.

And when I stand here in front of all of you, and the people who will watch these things, I'm excited, on behalf of everybody I've met, that there is a possibility that our world could unite, that we could come together as one, that we could lift the level of consciousness around the fundamental issues, brought about by individuals. I was with Brahimi, Ambassador Brahimi. I think he's one of the most incredible men in relation to international politics -- in Afghanistan, in Iraq. He's an amazing man. And I sat with him a few weeks ago. And I said to him, "Mr. Brahimi, is this nuts, going for a global truce? Is this possible? Is it really possible that we could do this?" He said, "It's absolutely possible." I said, "What would you do? Would you go to governments and lobby and use the system?" He said, "No, I'd talk to the individuals." It's all about the individuals. It's all about you and me. It's all about partnerships. It's about your constituencies, it's about your businesses. Because together, by working together, I seriously think we can start to change things.

And there's a wonderful man sitting in this audience, and I don't know where he is, who said to me a few days ago -- because I did a little rehearsal -- and he said, "I've been thinking about this day and imagining it as a square with 365 squares, and one of them is white." And it then made me think about a glass of water, which is clear. If you put one drop, one drop of something, in that water, it'll change it forever.

By working together, we can create peace one day. Thank you TED. Thank you.

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Thank you.

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Thanks a lot.

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Thank you very much. Thank you.