Never confuse movement with action.
Hemingway's words immediately cleared up any doubts that Dietrich was having about the decision. But it was her comment about his advice that has been remembered to history: "In those five words he gave me a whole philosophy."
There are periods in life when we are especially receptive to the influence of others. During these times--often called teachable moments--a handful of words can dramatically impact our lives. And when it comes to words that command attention, nothing can beat those that are phrased according to the figure of speech known as dehortatio, which Willard R. Espy once crisply defined as "dissuasive advice given with authority."
Technically, Hemingway offered Dietrich a dehortation, a rarely used but quite proper English term (compared to an exhortation, which attempts to persuade people to do something, a dehortation is an attempt to dissuade people from a course of action). Here's another example, this one written more than 2,500 years ago by the Greek writer Euripides:
Never dare to to judge till you have heard the other side.
For more than twenty-five years, I've had my own pet term for this kind of cautionary advice, and I have compiled nearly 2,000 examples in my new book Neverisms: A Quotation Lover's Guide to Things You Should Never Do, Never Say, or Never Forget (HarperCollins, 2011). Here are a bunch more, along with a thought or two about each one.
Never dull your shine for somebody else.
We sometimes think that important and eloquently phrased advice is the sole province of great thinkers from the past. Nothing could be further from the truth. Tyra Banks said this in a 2007 episode of "America's Next Top Model."Never ascribe to an opponent motives meaner than your own.
J. M. Barrie, best known to history as the author of Peter Pan, offered this admonition in a 1922 address to students at Scotland's St. Andrews University.
Never continue in a job you don't enjoy.
Johnny Carson said this in a 1976 commencement address at his alma mater, Norfolk High School in Nebraska. He preceded the advice by saying, "If you don't like it, stop doing it."
Never feel self-pity, the most destructive emotion there is.
Millicent Fenwick was a former fashion model and Vogue magazine editor who served in Congress in the 1970s. Famous for her pipe-smoking habit and memorable quips, she was one of the era's most colorful politicians. She lives on in history as the model for the character of Lacey Davenport in Garry Trudeau's Doonesbury comic strip.Never go on trips with anyone you do not love.
Ernest Hemingway said this to his wife Hadley after returning home from what can only be described as a very challenging trip with friend and fellow writer F. Scott Fitzgerald.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world.
This may be Margaret Mead's most famous quotation. The saying is so intimately associated with the legendary anthropologist--and so often cited by people who don't subscribe to her core beliefs--that it has been registered by Mead's family to protect its use.
Never let the odds keep you from pursuing what you know in your heart you were meant to do.
Leroy "Satchel" Paige was meant to be a big league pitcher, despite the longest of odds. In 1948, a year after Jackie Robinson broke major league baseball's color barrier, the 42-year-old Paige became the game's oldest rookie when he signed with the Cleveland Indians.
Never lose a chance of saying a kind word.
These words, from the narrator of William Makepeace Thackeray's 1847 classic Vanity Fair, prove that words of great wisdom often come from works of fiction.
Never depend on immersion in another person for your personal growth.
We often give advice to people in hopes they will avoid the mistakes we ourselves have made. Caitlin Thomas, the widow of Dylan Thomas, was reflecting on her own disastrous marriage when she wrote this in a letter to her 18-year-old daughter, Aeronwy.
Never lose sight of the fact that old age needs so little but needs that little so much.
Some of history's most memorable advice comes from people who've never achieved fame or celebrity status. This observation comes from Margaret Willour, one of the first female agents for New York Life, and a woman who broke new ground in a traditionally male field.
Never rise to speak till you have something to say; and when you have said it, cease.
John Witherspoon was a Scottish Presbyterian minister who came to America in 1768 to serve as president of the College of New Jersey, later renamed Princeton University. A Scotsman, he was suspicious of the English crown and quickly became sympathetic with the grievances of the colonists. He was the only clergyman to sign the Declaration of Independence.
Never-Say-Neverisms
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